Elena's Hope

Even though we mourn the passing of Elena, Keith and Brooke have sought support in your emails.

I stumbled upon the "Elena's Hope" website quite by accident (I was looking for info about air pressure in car tires - go figure) but I just spent the last two hours reading the journal archives, and I am completely blown away.

Thank you for making the journal public.

ct

Karate….LOL! Jacob made it through the yellow belt! Looks like that’s about as far as you’re going to get GracIE!!! Good luck!

Carrie

March 10, 2008

I haven’t laughed so much lately as I just did over Gracie’s writing notes!!! Somehow, I see those being framed down the road!!!

Carrie

March 6, 2008

i am writing in response to tonight's post. like so many people in the guestbook, i check in on you every day, though we have never met. i feel as though i know you, although you don't know me. it must be a very odd sensation for you sometimes. though i've emailed you before (i sent pictures a few times to elena this past summer - before pueblo - in the hopes of squeaking out a smile) i know there's no way you remember...but tonight, your pain radiated from the screen and compelled me to write again.

i have read your story from nearly the beginning - i don't remember how exactly i came to find you - and i continue to visit you during the week. you both write so beautifully and so simply - and yes, that is a compliment!! when elena passed away in august, i was out of town for a wedding - my own, in fact. so when i read your entry, one late night before going to sleep, i felt numb - too full of my own family drama to take it in (weddings do bring out 'the crazy' in people, i learned). plus, you had prepared us. we knew it was coming. and my rational self soothed my feeling self by promising to file it away for a time when i had a moment. and it seems that that moment came tonight, on 'after elena day 206'.

i don't know why i feel so connected to your daughter, but i do. i speculated in a prior email that it is because she made me think of me when i was a child, from what i remember and what others tell me about that long-ago me. i have dreamt of her, and visualize a nursery boasting her picture 'i love you.' i can't think of a better thing for my son or daughter to look at as they awaken and fall asleep each day. (note: i do not have children yet, though we are continuing to try...and i have not yet purchased a picture, either. all in good time...) but your post tonight, keith, is so raw. it is so full of things both said and unsaid, and the pain is palpable. i know you are all in pain and missing elena. how could you not be? i know also, in my mind, that the days pass one at a time, that grief is a process, that it takes a long time to live a day in which your soul does not ache. sharing that i know about that doesn't bring your daughter back. i know, too, that her ascent from this world is not 'news,' but somehow, tonight, reading your post, i truly *felt* the impact of the elena-shaped hole in your lives. a lump in my throat rose for your not having elena at the dinner table, or in a bedroom in your renovated house, on your front porch swing, and in a cemetery somewhere. my heart hurts for you, and regardless of how many times it's been said, how it may or may not help you...i need to let you know that i am so deeply sorry for your loss. for brooke's loss. for gracie's loss.

i feel like there's nothing i can say that hasn't been said before - by other strangers, and by people who love and know you in real life. i am not a religious woman and cannot offer you anything but compassion, love, and gratitude - for sharing her life, for writing your story, for your candour and honesty, and for motivating us all to see elena's life instead of a 'cause.' you are making a difference, i promise, with loving arms radiating to all ends of the earth. just as elena would have drawn it, i'm sure.

wishing you beautiful sunsets from my own porch swing,

kristi

hamilton, ontario, canada

Desserich Family,

You all do not know me, but I came across Elena’s page, after reading of several other children with the same disease. Although I do not personally know anyone who has had this type of brain tumor, all of these children’s stories have touched me like nothing I could ever imagine. As a mother, my heart breaks every time I read a journal entry or a Caringbridge page entry from a parent who has lost a child, but I must say that your journal entries (that I read every day) are SO profound to me, and touch me deeply. As a person who loves to write, but seldom ever gets to do it, I love to read your words, hear your stories, and I am truly touched by it. Your words are absolutely beautiful and I’m sure this journal is something that Gracie will look back on and treasure one day. May God Bless you all!

Christina Gomez

Parkville, MD

I have followed your story for some time, laughing and crying with you. I just want to share with you that my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter are 9 1/2 years apart. While their relationship is different than it would have been if they were closer in age, it is nevertheless a very caring, close one. My oldest was my youngest second mommy, nurturing and showing her the way. Now that they are 27 and 17, they are friends. If Grace has the opportunity to be a big sister, she would have such a great example in Elena. I wish you the best whatever decision you make.

Reading the post from February 24^th. Have you thought about adopting? Oftentimes once kids get past infancy they are hard to adopt out. But with you guys if you adopted you could choose the age that would be best suitable for your family, as well as the sex. You wouldn’t have to worry about the 6 year age gap. Just a thought. I’m sure there would be both pros and cons. That being said, I want to tell you that our kids are 8, 4, and almost 2. Our 8 and 4 year old fight like cats and dogs over any little thing. But the relationship between the 8 and almost 2 year old is so different and sweet. Abby loves and adores Jacob. He watches over her and protects. She rubs and pats his face and loves to give him hugs. He is a completely different sibling with her than with his 4 year old sister. I have another friend who has two children with a 5 year age gap and she worried about how they’d be. But they are the same way and it has proven to be a great thing. So, I encourage you to not let that age gap be of concern. You may be surprised by the outcome.

FEBRUARY 20, 2008

Oh my gosh you guys, I cried reading your post. Memories of our house being robbed last January (2007) instantly flooded my mind. It is such a horrible thing to have happen to you. And sleeping easily will not come easily for awhile. Our thieves, as you might remember, were interrupted by cops so didn’t get to carry everything out either, though they had managed to make several trips in and out. So I constantly worried that they’d come back after what they knew was left here. And like you, my most valued things lost for of sentimental value…my grandma’s engagement ring that had just been passed down to me 3 weeks earlier, and the casing from the gun that was shot off at my grandfather’s military funeral. My heart goes out to you. I am soooo very glad that the necklace was found though.

Hugs,

Carrie

FEBRUARY 20, 2008

I was so incredibly saddened to hear about your house being robbed, but thank God nobody was hurt and your precious necklace was not taken. I continue to read each and every journal entry and will definitely be seeing you at the Gala. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help prepare for that event, or any others.

Christina Pritchett

Keith- the entry about the derby car was the funniest thing every! It’s always good to have a little competitiveness in ya! Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!

I just wanted to say "Thank You" for this wonderful memory of your daughter. I am so very sorry for your loss, she was a beautiful person.
Thank you again for sharing it with all of us.

Kathy

Laughing hysterically over Grace and tae kwon do! Jacob did karate through gold belt. He won’t go back now! LOL! So, yeah, Grace makes me laugh and especially with her black belt comment. Though I can seriously see her taking out a boy with it at 16!!!!

Today’s photo of Elena on the chair with books is precious. I love how the light reflected in the picture. It’d be a great picture to hang in a library! J And LOL about Grace….that’s one smart and manipulative girl! Hmmm, who’s she get that from????

As I get ready to turn in the second service dog I have raise, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please know that Elena will never be forgotten.I am reminded of her each and everyday when I see my beautiful signed "I Love You" print and when I visit her web page to read your daily journal.She was an amazing little girl who had an unwavering spirit and who touched and continues to touch the live's of so many.

I hope that you will be able to look back on the time that you were blessed with her presence in your home,and that you will also understand that Elena became who she was because of who you are ...a family that loved her and celebrated her accomplishments.You can be proud of the home you gave to Elena for the time that God entrusted her to you.You gave her the most important gift a girl needs:to know that she is loved and cherished.I pray that as time passes...you find the peace and comfort you seek so that Elena's life,her light,will not be overshadowed by the horror of that terrible day.I pray that Elena's life will be honored by memories of the way that she lived and of the way her family loved her.Elena is who she is because of the gift of love that you gave to her life.

I am reminded of how when we are faced with a tragedy like this,we are overwhelmed and only able to see broken glass...broken dreams...but if we were able to see from Gods perspective,we would see that instead of broken glass,there is a beautiful stained glass masterpiece.Elena's life has'nt ended,it has been transformed into that masterpiece.

Elena is a very special angel and she will forever hold a very special place in my heart.You will remain in my thoughts and prayer's.

Elena is beautiful, she will always be beautiful. She was special even before getting sick. She is a gift from God. I know if she could reach out and touch you, the first thing she would do is lift your pain. She would never want you to be so sad because of her. I think of her innocense each day when I read your journal. I am so sorry for your anguish but you must feel lucky to have had such a darling. You are what you are now because of her. She was like a butterfly that barely brushed you with her wings. Such a light touch but one we will always remember. Peace and comfort I hope will come to all of you.

You, Brooke, and Grace will never be the only ones who remember Elena. Her life has inspired so many people around the country. I am one of those strangers hundreds of miles away who thinks of you daily; laughs and cries along with each journal entry, and lives each day a little differently. Your family has taught so many other families to not take it for granted. Enjoy each day. Be thankful each day. Love each other every day. The way we all honor Elena is to keep her life in our hearts and minds. She was a gift to you, that your family is willing to share her is a gift to us... A gift we will always cherish and remember. Jenn M. from NH

I remember Elena all the time. I read your entries all the time. She made a permanent mark on me and I never even met her. I am sure you try to make your day as "normal" as possible but I think keeping Elena stories on the tip of your tongue and her love overflowing from your heart, is just an amazing legacy you will pass onto Grace and everyone that enters into your life in whatever fashion.

Your entry tonight had me tears. I understand, I feel the same way. It breaks my heart to think anyone could forget my daughter. Please know I will never forget Elena. She is with my daughter, I'm sure they are friends. Alicia, Elena and many of the other children that had this horrible tumor will always be a part of my life. Your daughter will never be forgotten!

I have been keeping up with your website for quite some time. I've never met your family and can't even begin to imagine what you have been through. I have two girls of my own. I have prayed for you, cried for you and at times laughed with you. We sent out Elena's Christmas Cards this year. When I read your journal entry this morning, my heart was heavy for you. I just wanted to let you know, although your faith is shaken, I am sure there are many people (other than me) out there praying for you, probably some you know and some you don't. My prayer for you is that instead of finding "religion," that you find the peace that is found in Christ alone. There again, I can't begin to understand or say that I know what you are going through so I don't want to sound pious or haughty, but I do know that there is peace in Christ and I hope and pray you can find that. I just wanted to let you know, there are a lot of people out here that are keeping up with your site and praying for you too!

LOL at the latest journal entry…as I JUST bought 3 boxes of girl scout cookies last night!!!!

A rock party sounds like it would really rock! Certainly will have to try one of those one day at my house... maybe we can even get our Daddy to take charge of it.

Hmmm- maybe I should teach Colton and Dawson the Macarena to learn the months! That is hilarious!

I sit here with tears in my eyes, what a wonderful big sister Elena IS.......and always will be to Grace. Because of her thoughtfulness and love for her sister she will always BE a caring, loving big sister. No one, not even that horrible tumor can steal that from Grace! In her short life Elena left a very big legacy. Thank you so much for sharing your family with us all, this is a journey I wish no more families have to take but sadly we know until we can find a cure there will be more. I hope 2008 brings you peace, love and comfort!

Gosh, I’m crying, at work. How thoughtful of you to think of having Elena pick something out for Grace for Christmas this year knowing what lie ahead. You are truly a great mom. Hugs to you all.

Brooke, Keith and Gracie,

I have just finished reading your Christmas Eve entry, and am waiting for Santa to arrive. Yes, Gracie, there is a Santa Claus.

May you all have a peaceful and blessed Christmas.

Warmly,

Nancy Axmacher

Gracie, I'm sure my nephew and Elena are having one heck of a Christmas up there in Heaven. Hope you have a good day. Your sister is watching while she's opening up her presents as well, make sure you hold them up so she can see them...I wonder if she will see Santa come in the house?!

Dear Keith, Brook, and Grace,

I came upon your journal while searching for a greater understanding of this tumor. My little next-door neighbor Ian Dolman was also a sweet brave little boy who was robbed of his future because of this monster.

I've often thought about e-mailing you, but could never convey what I really wanted to say. I'm certain I still won't. Your journal is so thoughtfully written, so pure, both of you have the talent of making a reader feel your pain, your anger, and most of all, your love. I have learned so much from all three of you.

I know in my life when events happen that I cannot understand, I hate hearing the words "things happen for a reason". Yet, here I am, about to say those very words to you wanting to help, and knowing how much they will repel you.
I whole heatedly believe that Elena knew what the three of you wanted to do on her birthday, and I also believe she has the ability to make "events" of her own happen. Isn't it possible that she too wanted to send you a message that day, that she too loves and misses you? Can you tell me where heaven is? Is it 100,000 feet in the air, 10,000 feet, 100 feet or could it be that an old 50 foot Oak tree reaches the edges of heaven? Elena loved leaving the you notes, I think she still does, and just did, only this one will last you 20 years!

The last time I felt compelled to write to you was regarding your entry about the History Museum. My heart broke for you, as it often does over the many changes and reminders you face day to day. Nothing will stop your pain, nothing will bring Elena back, and nothing will let Grace have the same traditions, but how about making a new one? Is there any reason that the three of you can't race to ring the bell first next year? Don't you deserve it? Doesn't Grace deserve it? Doesn't Elena deserve someone tormenting Grace in her place? After all, it's a well known fact; "Everytime a bell rings, an Angel gets her wings".

Merry Christmas,
Sue

Thinking of you during this holiday season - Keeping you in my prayers and sending GREAT BIG Angel hugs, smiles and rainbows!

As I read your post about the release of the balloons, I soon became very disapointed to find out the balloons didn't soar to Heaven and find their way to Elena....This disapointment lasted only moments, because out of nowhere the realization of what truly happened popped into my head out of nowhere...Yes, Elena is in Heaven...However she "lives" within you, Brooke and Gracie and that was her way of saying, "I'm here, I can hear you, I've always been here." So when you look up at those balloons, don't let them remind you of something failed, let them remind you that Elena is still with you....Everyday...Look up at those balloons and smile...It's her way of telling you that she is still here.....

It’s Christmas Eve, and as I stop reading the journal for the night, I want you to know that my prayers are sent to you all on this very blessed but I can only imagine very difficult holiday. Gracie, I know Santa will be very good to you. I am sure Elena had your wish list to him long before anyone elses arrived. I am ordering my “I love you” print and shirt today. Although I am in Huntsville I would love to help out with The Cure Starts Now in anyway I can.

Happy Birthday to Elena! Keith and Brooke- I'm glad you were surrounded by friends and family to celebrate Elena's life, although I'm sure it was a very hard day for all of you! We will be lifting your family up throughout this whole week, especially.

Happy Birthday Elena, she is still in our hearts, thoughts and prayers each day…. as is your family.

I was reading your website for the fifth time today, when my daughter, who is six came into the room. She knows the story of Elena and your family as we have been reading your journal every day for about a year now. I told her today was Elena's birthday and that your family was feeling very sad and that we need to say extra prayers. This is what my six year old said. "I know what will make them feel better, they could have a couple of Elena's friends over to play with Gracie and they could talk about how nice and friendly Elena was and that would make them feel better". I thought that was a very sweet. How you have touched so many lives that you have never met. My daughter never met Elena but she feels how special she is and will continue to be. We will NEVER forget her and your family.

I’ve been a faithful reader of your family journal for many, many months (since last May, I believe). I have a print of Elana’s I Love You picture and it’s hanging in our home, a daily reminder to never take a single moment for granted. I just wanted to let you know I’m especially thinking of you today on what would have (should have) been Elana’s 7^th birthday. The grief you are going through must be unbearable at times and there isn’t a thing I can do or say that will make things better, but just know there are people like me all over the country sending out good thoughts and praying for your family.

We don’t know each other and I was not even aware of your situation until a few hours ago when in the middle of the night I could not sleep and came across the story of your Elena in an inexplicable way while working on my computer. The timing and purpose of this cannot be coincidence given today is Elena’s birthday. I am confident that the Lord and Elena want you to know that she is celebrating her birthday today, with Him, and they used a total stranger to affirm this for you.

I bet Elenapalooza was a blast and I can't wait to read about it. The way you miss Elena, it touches hearts and your love.. will find cures. Thinking of you and continuing to pray for the three of you and all of your family, particularly during this season.

We are getting ready for Martha Glen's Cure Starts Now birthday party this weekend! Elena's cards were the perfect invitations! I hope we raise lots of $!

I was so touched by today's writings, Keith. I have thought of Grace so often over the past months and thought of her adjusting to being the only child. She is right--Elena is still her sister, even though she is an angel. At the end of our prayers each night, one of the things we ask God to do is to "Surround us with your angels to guard us and protect us." The other night, Sadie told me that meant that Elena and Madeline were watching over her. How cool! Yes!!!

That is a perfect gift, one that all of you will treasure always. Grace will love it. I am wishing you good memories and happy thoughts today, guys. You are on my mind and in my prayers.

You don't know me, but I was your niece's (Allyson) preschool teacher last year at Willowbrook Preschool in Huntsville, AL. Our class prayed for and talked about Elena every single day, and if by chance I forgot to mention Elena in our class prayers, Allyson would stop everything to remind me that we didn't pray for her cousin! Right then & there we would always stop what we were doing and offer our prayers for Elena! Allyson adored her. My family and I have followed Elena's journey since Jackie told us of her diagnosis last year. There have been many times we've gone on to sign the guestbook but stopped because nothing we wanted to say seemed right.

Our family continually remembers you all in our prayers. Our 10-year old daughter, Krystina, still talks about Elena daily and wonders about what she is doing in heaven and how she is watching over her parents and little sister with the other angels in heaven. Our hearts are heavy for you, but our prayers are for strength, comfort and the support of family and friends. Yours is a wonderful family...we will always be so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Thank you for sharing Elena's story so freely with those of us who don't know you. Even though you weren't trying, your family has had a very powerful effect on so many people, and we hope you feel the strength that comes from the many prayers that are offered for you all daily.

Just this week, I've learned of 2 different children (ages 9 and 11) who have been diagnosed with inoperable brain tumors. Your work on behalf of "The Cure Starts Now" gives strength and encouragement to so many out there who are hurting and afraid for their children. My kids use "goodsearch.com" as their web search of choice!

We will do whatever we can to support "The Cure Starts Now" and we will keep your family in our prayers.

You continue to inspire me by your journal entries. Gracie stories continue to crack me up - the recent Macarena story was the best! I have friends who have been through some really hard times recently, including the passing of their 21 year old kitty, Nipper. They were at the Dayton 2nd Street Market today to buy bagels. They wandered past the Animal Shelter booth and a 6-month old kitty caught their eye. To make the story short, they adopted the little calico - named "Gir" - Sue told me they didn't care for that name, but wanted to stay with the "GR" sound and one of the names they came up with was Gracie - I told her that was perfect! She doesn't know of you guys, but I will tell her of Elena and Grace. So, if you wish, share with Gracie there is a little kitty cat that was rescued today and she is named Gracie.

I haven't written in a while, but I still read your journal weekly. I am thinkly so much of your family during this holiday season. I can't imagine how much Elena is missed, but I know in my heart God has such great plans for your family. I hope someday Gracie does have a brother or sister to share her love and craziness with, not to replace Elena, but to share Elena. I have two adult daughters who are not speaking to each other right now and it breaks my heart. If something happened to one of them, the other would be broken hearted. God's love needs to be shared.

Okay, guys. You can tell Elena to let up on the snow. I’m staring at a good 6-7 inches and it’s still snowing. Yes, I know you love snow and all Brooke, but man, she’s really going all out for ya!

You don’t know me, I’ve never written you before but I have kept up with your journey since last December. The first thing I do each morning is pour my coffee and read your journal entry for the day. Sometimes they make me cry, sometimes they make me think, and sometimes, like this morning, they make me laugh out loud.

The visual of your Gracie going through the months of the year on her desk as a 30 year old was just too much! Truly, I haven’t laughed like that in months. I know your journal is for Gracie, but you must know that you are touching the hearts of people all around the world. Total strangers have come to love your family as their own, have followed Elena’s struggle and grieved for her right along with you. I cannot imagine the feelings you must have – and yes, the world lost a very special girl who no doubt would have changed it for the better.

I never know what to say so I usually don’t say anything, but I wanted you to know that we are out here, the silent followers, and we are all thinking of you each and everyday. I wish you all the joy of the holiday season, and wish it wasn’t coupled with the sadness I know you are all feeling without your Elena.

A hero can be defined as someone who has shown an admirable quality such as great courage or strength of character. Ride in the convertible, you are both heroes in my book!

What an honor to be named Citizen of the Year. You may not feel that you are worthy of the honor however many, like myself believe this to be true. Your family is an inspiration. I loved yesterday’s picture of Elena and Grace on the exercise bike. It really put a smile on my face.

Brooke and Keith- I think giving Elena her own special tree was a fantastic idea! I do hope you’ll put a picture of it on the website! I can’t even fathom all the emotions running through both of you as you remembered each special ornament. I’ll especially be thinking of you tomorrow on the 28^th.

I really do believe Grace is right and that Elena painted that sky for YOU. Why? Because we did not have that sky here at all. We haven’t had a pink sky for some time now, as I mentioned not long ago. She is watching over you.

Just wanted to drop you all a note and let you know I was thinking about you today.

Hello Brooke, Keith and Grace

I looked out my back window this evening and saw that gorgeous pink colored sky and immediately thought of Elena and hoped all of you were watching as well. It is fantastic that Grace was able to capture that beautiful picture. Although Elena is no longer with us here on earth, she will continue to perform wonderful, magical acts of love. Peace to all of you this holiday season and every day.

Valleri

You do not know me but I heard about you daughter from a local band that is playing at southgate for the benfit concert. I was sending emailings and bulltins to all me friends telling them of Bastion playing and saw your web site dedicated to her. It is wonder tribute to a small but very beautiful

know you heard it lots of time but sorry for your loss. It is wonderful to keep her spirit and her memories alive by your website. I hope by supporting this cause, we can help find a cure for that stealer of precious lives ,cancer.

Ooh, ooh, make the Gracie and Pueblo pictures bigger. I want to see the new kitchen in something bigger than quarter size!!!

Brooke, Keith and Gracie,

Today was Free Wee Wednesday at the Cincinnati Art Museum. I rarely get time alone with Becca (4) compared to how much time I get alone with Tori. [Becca is Daddy's buddy.] So, since I'm on vacation the rest of the week and Tori had to be in kindergarten, I took Becca to the Museum while Daddy backfilled the wall in the back yard.

Becca knew the only other time she'd been there was the first Saturday of May to see Elena's "I Love You" painting on display. She was thinking she'd get to see the painting again. The rooster/donkey painting and Pablo's art were there, but not the picture we purposefully came to see last time. And there were no camera crews this time ... because Elena wasn't there. And Gracie wasn't there pushing Elena's wheelchair. It was quieter than before. Just senior citizens, art students and other parents with their preschoolers.

As always, we're thinking about and praying for you all, but especially today. And then I opened this email from my sister. After listening to it, I had to share it with you. Remember Who understands and let Him hold you close.

Susanne

A remarkable phone call from a 12-yr old boy to Houston

I have not signed Elena's guestbook in awhile, but please know that I think of her and your family everyday. Extra prayers are being said for you today.

Love,
Yvonne

I just wanted you all to know that I am thinking of you and Elena today. We don’t know each other, but that does not keep my heart from hurting for your loss of Elena. I continue to keep you all in my prayers.

Brooke- Happy Birthday!!! I’m glad Elena gave you such a wonderful surprise- how special that was for you! I just still am in shock that it snowed, b/c it was almost 80 degrees here yesterday!

If you guys wouldn’t mind sharing, I’d love to see pictures of the Christmas trees. I vividly remember the picture you posted last year of Elena placing an ornament on the Christmas tree and how happy I was to see she was able to come home and do so.

Aw, poor Grace. I hate that she’s hurting now too. It’s good that she let her tears out, but man, that tore me up. I can only imagine how you were breaking inside. It’s tough when, as parents, we can’t give our children the answers they need or want. I wonder what it was, in particular, that triggered the conversation and the tears. I wonder if it was a certain memory of her or something. Not that it matters, just makes you wonder.

I am so proud of you for getting your special decorating done. You really are an inspiration. Please post a picture of Elena's tree! I cannot imagine the emotions you went through as you unpacked her ornaments. I have been praying for a special measure of peace and comfort for you on Nov. 28.

This poem was written by a 13 year old boy who died of a brain tumor that he had battled for four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his mom before he died. His name was Ben.

I hope you all were able to make it through Thanksgiving with some new family memories with Gracie. I can't imagine how hard these last few days must have been bringing back all of the beginning days again. And, who knew you'd have to put tissues in your family budget- I guess they can add up! I have been thinking about you constantly this week and reading the journals. Our prayers are with you, especially in the upcoming month.

Brooke, my heart goes out to you today as you remember last year. I know it's easy for me to say, but you shouldn't beat yourself up for reprimanding Elena that day. We still have to discipline our children, tempering it as need be to take into consideration their physical condition (no nap; not feeling well). I'm sure in retrospect with what she was starting to endure, your actions or words may seem harsh to you now, but you had no way of knowing what was going on with Elena that day. One certainly doesn't jump to the conclusion of "hmmm... brain tumor?" when a child is having a bad day. And you more than made up for that one day in the days that followed. That you've learned to give thanks for every day since then makes the one day irrelevant in that you live it all year long.

I'm sure Elena doesn't hold that day against you, and you shouldn't either. If God were to ask her about you, Keith, Grace and all of your family, Elena would only have good things to share. God entrusted her to your care for a short 6.5 years. What matters is the love you shared every day (not just one), and that you taught her to love Him and others in return.

Tori, Becca and I continue to pray for you every day.

Susanne

With is with a heavy heart that I come across a web site as this. A beautiful little girl who would have made some handsome young man happy. Raising her family and all the things that we do.

I am a resident of Memphis, off and on for 37 years and also a graduate of Finneytown High School, class of 1969. So please accept my hello as we honor this family and child.

Hi Brooke,
My name is Susan. I have been reading your online journal for almost a year now, since it began. I have been thinking a lot about your family lately, as I know the anniversary of Elena's diagnosis is approaching. After reading the journal entry this morning, I felt compelled to write to you and Keith. I just want you to know that even though I never had the pleasure to know Elena, I think about your family every day. She will never be forgotten, even by a complete stranger. I admire your fight to find a cure for this terrible disease, and because of your efforts, I truly believe other children will be saved.
I also wanted to thank you for giving me strength through my own tough times. My husband and I have a 2 year old little girl, the light of our lives. We were blessed to have her after trying for 16 months to get pregnant. We quickly decided that we wanted another. After receiving fertility treatments for almost a year, I finally became pregnant. We had 2 ultrasounds showing a healthy little baby. We were overjoyed, and couldn't wait to meet our little bundle. A few months later, at a regualr monthly exam, the doctor could no longer find our baby's heartbeat. Our baby had died. This was right around the time that you lost Elena. I know that my pain couldn't even compare to the agony you are going through, but the way your family stuck together is so very inspiring to me. When I would wake up in the morning and feel like I didn't even want to get out of bed, I thought about the strength that you and your family has shown throughout your journey and I was able to face the day.
I know there is nothing anyone can say that takes the pain away, but please know that I am thinking about you and that you have helped me (and others) more than you know.
Susan

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. I know this is a time you’d rather skip by, throwing bad memories aside and wishing you could turn back time. I don’t really know what to say. I’ve found that a lot lately. Know that I think of you guys daily, pray for you often, and read the journal daily. I miss the pink sunrises that I watched rise so often on my way to work. It seems there have been very few pink skies lately. Know that others are grieving with you during this holiday season and feeling some of your pain. And as always, I am always here if you guys need anything.

Desserich's -
I read your journal tonight and I wanted to let you know that this stranger is moved by each entry in your journal, and I do think about your daughter daily. I think about how I wish I weren't a poor Phd student because I would love nothing more than to donate to TCN. If I were in your area I would probably have called about volunteering or something. It's because there is so much wrong in the world, and I've got to do something to make it right. On days when my head is buried in academia and I don't feel like there is meaning in the world, I read your heart felt messages and I get back in touch with meaning, and why I came back to get this degree. Knowing that so many lives are lost, knowing that a very kind, thoughtful little bookworm (I was / am a bookworm myself) lost her life and that maybe there is something I could do to help inspires me on the days I need it the most. Thank you for that.

-Brooke Robertshaw

It has been awhile since I have written, but I still read your journals often. I am sure Thanksgiving will be difficult for you and all of your family this year. I wanted to let you know that you continue to be in my prayers and thoughts often. I am thankful for your family, for the impact Elena has made on me and my family this year and thankful for your perseverance to continue the fight to find a cure.

I am sure you are making lots of turkey's at school and maybe you have been learning about pilgrims and indians. We did some of that at our school and my Hannah was given an indian name.... Little Running Mouth! I helped her personally select it, maybe you and your cousins need to choose indians names for thanksgiving day, it could be lots of fun.

I have not stopped reading your journals, though. I LOVE the picture of Pablo and the girls on the boat. Fabulous! I was going to ask you how he is doing, but I see that he is fine--and doing just what he should--lying at your feet for pets.

I can't believe Gracie is an October girl...just ONE MORE connection between my girls and yours. Sadie, too, is an October girl, and Martha Glen is a December girl. And, Brooke, your birthday is just a few weeks before mine which is in early December. So, I know you Desserichs love fall as much as we do!

I have been thinking of you a lot lately as we approach Thanksgiving since that was the time Elena was diagnosed. You have been and continue to be such an inspiration to me. I will be praying for your strength and for some peace for you as we move closer to 11/28.

Well, both are lovely creatures. We just got the rat movie as well and have watched it nonstop. It even led to a Sunday of cooking for our family.

Today is Martha Glen's Thanksgiving play. She's a pilgrim, which she assumed she would be (as opposed to an Indian) thanks to our very pale skin! She is also a FLEA! It'll be a fun morning.

So, it's time for me to start dressing the little Pilgrim-Flea. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I am still thinking of you all the time and reading your musings (Halloween, by the way, had me in stitches--brilliant doorbell trick, Keith!). Stay strong and ejoy your Grace. Oh, I also meant to tell Grace how SMART she looks. I started wearing glasses at age 3, so I identify with other little bespectacled ladies.

Been thinking about you a lot lately. You and your family have had a really hard year. I pray 2008 will bring some healing and triumphs for all of you. We all miss you and Kent and feel like we haven't seen you in forever. I am hoping we can all get together sometime in January for a supper club reunion of sorts. Let me know if a weekend works better for you than another.

Brooke- you go girl! I’m so impressed with your determination to get back in the gym and workout. I have been trying to work out more, too- although my eating habits have not changed a bit!

Also- I love the journal the other night talking about how you always taught Elena and Grace that they were best friends. I have been noticing how my boys talk about each other more when they are apart and I have really been trying to teach them to be best friends, as well. (They are only 13 mo. apart- so I hope they are best buds as they get older). I also love all the pictures you have been posting of Elena- she is so beautiful, what great memories you have of her!

I’m Amy Daniel-Kent’s cousin in Montgomery. I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know how you are in our constant thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry this has happened to your family. I hope your faith gives you encouragement and hope for the future.

Keith and Brooke- I have been still reading your journals daily even though I do not sign the guestbook as often lately. I can't even imagine how hard this weekend must have been- I'm sure every milestone and holiday is going to be hard. Just know- you still have tons of people thinking and praying for you daily.

I finally find a moment to write to you, I know all that youfeel, but I am still "before" the lost of my daughter, I hardly imagine what could be one of my day "after", as I spend most of my time caring of Anne-Sophie. Her DIPG was diagnosed in june 2006, with radiation and Temùodar the tumor shrunk by half and she was symptom free so we thought "maybe she will survive, maybe it is a low grade, maybe not even a tumor". Then chem every month and stable MRI, we were happy during that year and angry against all saying she would relapse, we couldn't believe that! Then she relapsed in august 2007, then the tumor continued growing and the one in october 2007 was very bad, "critical situation", so hospital and palliative care. Now she can't walk and speak, sleeping all day long.

For other parents, please take good time after radiation, it doesn't last long....

Consider yourself lucky that she was able to get the glasses. It must be the age. Caylee recently had an injury to her eyeball (Jacob threw the football at her and it happened to land flat on her eye) and she had to see the eye doctor. She, like Gracie, was dead set on getting glasses. She was trying them on BEFORE she was seen, despite my telling her that she could see fine and didn’t need glasses. I assured her that as time passed, I’m sure she would get them. Um, yeah, that doesn’t appease a 4 year old. Needless to say, I left with a crying daughter who didn’t get glasses and instead only got eyedrops. Not what she had planned on!

Pretty boy, you’re camping story is so funny to this outdoorsy girl that I’m going to pass it onto Tony! I’m sure it’ll give him a giggle to start the day! Jokes aside, kudos to you for toughening it out and enjoy time with Grace! Brooke, to be a fly on your wall while he was trying to figure out the tent…..

Sharing tears with you this morning as I read over your Halloween story. Nothing to offer, just common sadness. I’m sure Elena would be chewing you out though for being sad and not making the best of it. But that was her good quality, right? May next year’s Halloween be easier than this years.

I’m in total hysterics reading the trick-or-treat story! For one, didn’t know you were that creative (doorbell thing) and two, I can’t believe you didn’t let Brooke in on the deal and let her get up twice. ROFL!

First I have to say, you have the most beautiful girls. I read the journal daily, Elena touched my heart and stole it. My good friend Jeff Bissett's son, Justin, passed away from this horrible tumor in June and although I can't feel the grief you all feel there is such an emptiness now that overwhelms me at times. I love the picture from last Halloween......thank you for sharing Elena and GracIE with us all. I had the opportunity to meet Matthew McGowan's family, thru pain and sorrow friends are made, but in my heart I'd rather we had all remained strangers and never had to 'meet' because of this awful tumor. I just want you to know I keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily and to thank you for all your hard work to raise money for research. We have had a few fund raisers and hope to have more. We need to educate people, one of the things I did for awareness, I made a business card with Justin's picture on it and listed some of the websites, Elena's, JJ Lipski's, Maria's and Justin's, on it, when we have a fund raiser I pass them out or leave them on tables. I actually still leave them here and there in my travels. My hope is that when people get home and find the card in their purse or pocket they will log on to the computer and see these beautiful angels who fought so hard and donate.